Have you ever been in a situation where some intense crap is going down yet you choose not to communicate?

By Allana Pratt

Have you ever been in a situation where some intense crap is going down yet you choose not to tell the kids?

Or you hear about something at work and you just don't want to bring negative energy into your relationship so you don't share it?

Or even something so fabulous is unfolding yet to keep it to yourself, to protect its pristine unfolding until it reaches critical mass?

How the hell do YOU make that decision... to tell or not to tell?

And how the hell do you keep it inside without it eating you up?

And when you do decide to share, should you choose to, how do you communicate why you kept it hidden all that time, to your loved ones?

This is where I am.

In the past, my newsletter has been 100% transparent, you know EVERYTHING as it's happening, like a consciousness reality show where you learn as I learn, grow as I grow, feel as I feel, and at times, get triggered as I get triggered.

As a leader in personal growth, it is a fine line between what to share to empower you, and what to withhold so as not to bombard you with more than you're already challenged with, while simultaneously being transparent, accessible and real.

For example, with all that's going down in my life, there's a part of me that wanted to invite you all over to my living room, pour you tea or a glass of wine and lay it on the table till 3 in the morning.

Yet today I'm making another choice. I am doing what I tell you to do...

Sit in the fire, expand and feel.

It's wild what I'm seeing.

A part of me wants to share... being totally honest... with some blame and righteousness, making me look good, seeking your approval and agreement... kind of a mob mentality.

Not choosing that.

And so I as I sit in the fire, feel the burning and expand to hold the whole experience... this process ignites in me the Gift of this circumstance... it awakens a Strength, an Awareness and a Discernment for Right Action, not REaction.

It's awakening in me the next level of my intuition, knowing and perceiving for my highest good.

In another example, there's a part of me that wants to share GOOD news too, yet its mixed with private information.... and so this lesson expands me as well... it's not black or white, all or nothing, I can trust myself to share what feels expansive and light, and let what feels private, pristine, precious and too pure for public consumption at this point... I can hold that in my discerning heart.

In fact don't you do this when first dating, navigate these waters of what to tell and what not to tell?

Have you felt the feeling of holding it all in, and then they say you're not interesting or open...

Or you tell them everything and they say you're too dramatic or complicated...

Or... you do as I'm doing and encouraging you to do... sit in the fire... feel into how each present moment choice will expand or contract the possibility of the relationship... and follow the lighter energy... share what feels light...

So my big lesson is to see that in my commitment to authenticity, transparency and openness, in my practice to be positive, cooperative and supportive...I'd shut off my awareness that some people don't choose the level of integrity I do...

...and because I was unwilling to be aware of that, I set myself up for betrayal. Kind of a kumbaya polyanna denial.

I am so thrilled with this insight for I'm unwilling to be a victim and just couldn't see how I was setting myself up! All I had to do was be willing to face my discomfort, feel it, and all my awareness returned.

Sitting in this has awakened a competency, a judgment free capacity to see things as they are, not as I wish they would be...

...and now I can choose what would further All, a calm discernment that I've never known.

So the good news that I'm gloriously grateful to share is that I'm completely in love. Marigold at the Conscious Life Expo over the weekend said I look 10 years younger.

Listen to the interview with Jill of Spiritual Singles in the Intimate Conversations Series to hear how I found him...

The main take away is that I shifted from 'wanting' him to being the space to HAVING him. "I'm having him" I said to myself, as I wrote my profile.

And now I'm allowing myself to have pleasure, support and joy beyond my old walls of comfort or control... all the while simultaneously having awareness of challenging things (can you feel the expansion in both directions?) and I'm willing to sit in the fire and feel it and act from my highest self.

I'm grateful to be able to share this journey with you.

Deliciously yours,

Allana

p.s. Ask this question every day until next week's newsletter and let me know what unfolds.... "What would it take for me to have total awareness, choice and possibility for a glorious life of ease and deliciousness?"

Join us in the upcoming live membership calls will you?

These aren't teleseminars they are teleconferences- where we talk together!

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For Women: Redifining Sexuality...

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For Men: Get Her to Say Yes...

Most responsible and powerful way to move forward and create change....

By Allana Pratt

Dear great glorious Friends,

He was feeling emasculated by his wife, behaving passive aggressively with her.

He wasn't into his job, not clear what he wanted to do next with his life, feeling insecure and indecisive about his decisions...

And his son was now starting to behave with hesitancy as well.

He didn't have tons of extra cash so we decided the two discounted private sessions with my Dear Lover DVD was the most responsible and powerful way to move forward and create change.

Our first private session was mind blowing.

I fell in love with this man's soul. What a great heart.

You see I don't tell people what to do.

I don't honesty know what's going to happen in a particular session.

I do trust that I will know what questions to ask.

I know I can hold an impeccable, safe, unconditionally loving space.

And I trust my spot on intuition to simply follow the energy to the place of lightness, clarity and freedom...

In just the first session... not only did we clear up the past with his parents, with his decisions with grad school, with money, with his wife... I was drawn to lead him through an extraordinary guided visualization with God.

It gave me shivers.

This man was able to 100% shift his point of view from getting his self-worth and security from external circumstances (always seeking more validation, more money, more something to be enough)... he shifted to knowing his self-worth, self-esteem and security from the inside out... seeing himself as God did.

I hope I remember this right, yet I swear they were drinking Scotch together in the visualization.

Breathtaking how quickly he got it.

Got the truth of his magnificence.

THEN it was time for our 2nd session, yet he lost his job, or maybe it was his wife lost her job, yet instead of pulling out of his commitment, he created a payment plan to make it work and we reconnected just last week.

HIS LIFE IS OFF THE CHARTS!

He's been watching and implementing the DVD curriculum, listening to our first session... yet get this....

He and his brother went hunting, talked for hours and he was a leader suggesting his brother consider forgiving their parents and move on.

1. He and his wife are now going to water aerobics and have lost all this weight

2. AND they are having way better sex, of course

3. AND they went to this theme hotel and stayed in the Hay Stack Loft Room for their anniversary! Bow chicka bow bow...

4. AND when his van called it quits, instead of acquiescing and getting the car she wanted, he actually spoke his truth, researched other options and together they decided on what worked for them both.

AND GET THIS!!!!!

He's been uncertain with what he wants to do, not clear on his purpose, not feeling empowered, driven and in his power...right?

So now he's found a private correctional facility for young men that has really turned him on and vibrantly awakened his purpose.

When we started, he had fear that nearly crippled his capacity for action or self-worth.

Now he's standing up, speaking his truth, reconnecting with his wife, he's invigorated in his relationship with his brother, and is stoked for the possibilities of this new career path.

I have to admit I had tears in my eyes at how magnificently he's applied himself, at how far he's come, at how he made it work to complete our 2 life altering sessions, at how he's returned to his core power, confidence and capacity to create his life.

Can't you just feel what it's like for his boys to witness his shifts?

To feel the love increase in the home?

To watch Dad celebrate incremental steps, little victories, and keep going?

I am so honored, blessed and touched to be able to connect so intimately him and with incredible men like you... about issues that really matter... creating results that make life worth living again.

You have it in you to apply yourself and create shifts.

I am the catalyst to tip you into the next dimension with laser sharp guidance and effective results.

And I'm soooo honored to love you at such a profound time of expansion on the planet.

I love watching a great man like you do the deep work and soar.

It's like witnessing a Knight become a King.

Know I believe in you, that you living your dreams makes my feminine goddess energy awaken and sizzle.

AND I promise... you 'on your game' will make you the man who gets her into the Hay Stack Loft Room saying yes, Yes YES!

Deliciously yours,

Allana

p.s. How would you like to tap into the magnetically sex and noble person that I know you are... the Dear Lover DVD can give you the freedom, power and fulfillment you are looking for...

Why I Hate Fashion?

On my personal blog, amongst the chatter and occasional rant, I sometimes post pictures of myself before I go out — for errands, for a nice dinner, just sitting around. I enjoy sharing with my readers the different things I wear, and I love seeing pictures of the bloggers I follow. It may be vain, sure, but I certainly don’t think it’s hurting anybody. And last night, before a dinner with friends, I posted a picture of myself wearing a skirt, a light sweater, and an Italian-scarf-and-brooch combination that once belonged to my grandmother. Amongst all of the things I wear, my grandmother’s clothes and jewelry are the most important, the most treasured. I wear them with pride because I love her, I miss her, and she was a beautiful, elegant woman who cared for all of her lovely belongings and passed them down to me. As the oldest of many cousins, and the daughter of her oldest child, some of her most prized possessions went to my family. When I wear them, I feel more beautiful than I do in anything else.

And with the photo, like with any other, came the usual little smattering of comments and questions. Sometimes I ask for an opinion on things, and my readers are honest enough to give me constructive criticism — which I wholly appreciate. But this time, there was no survey, I was simply showing off the scarf and brooch that I was proud and happy to be wearing. I felt beautiful and elegant and like my grandmother would have called me a “young lady.” I shared simply to share. And amongst the responses I got came one that really stopped me in my tracks:

“Please spare us your “#what i wore” posts. Yours are some of the least interesting clothes. They can’t even be justified as retro or conservative, because that can be done without inducing yawns (see Derek Lam Fall 2012, among others). Not saying you need to abide by any sense of trendiness, but just develop some sense of style or quit it with those posts.”

There is something about this seemingly innocuous comment that, to me, represents all that is truly wrong and awful about the concept of “fashion” itself. This comment isn’t outright “mean,” and it’s not insulting me personally or calling me ugly names, but it is undermining any attempt I made to feel beautiful by reminding me — with a succinct dropping of a fashion name I surely can’t relate to — that I am not “stylish.” Even if I look “acceptable” or “good,” I am not “fashionable” by any means. There was some invisible test going on, and I failed it. And this attitude is so pervasive in our culture, especially amongst young people and in big cities. There is this idea that having “taste” and being “stylish” are far, far removed from wearing things that look good on you, or that make you feel good. The competition arises not from making yourself look the best you can, but from having the most knowledgeable and interesting combination of labels and trends possible.

I have made fun of things like The Sartorialist and super-high-end boutiques before here, and I usually do it with a sense of humor and not too much seriousness, but I feel truly hurt by it quite often. When I look at things like street fashion photography, and see the way they consistently eschew the the opportunity to present real people in all shapes and sizes looking beautiful in things that weren’t necessarily expensive or hard-to-find to just show the same thin, beautiful people in designer clothes — I feel even worse about the way we are looking at each other. It is yet another reminder — couched in a genre that tries to present itself as featuring “real” people–that there is pretty, but then there is fashionable, and you should never pretend you are the latter if you are just the former.

Pictures people post of themselves on blogs and personal sites are often in a similar vein. People who take pride in capturing what they wear are often the same kind who abide by “style books,” and Coco Chanel’s rules, and what came down the runway at Paris Fashion Week. They’re beautiful, and always wearing such interesting and fresh clothes–but let’s not forget that that is their interest. It’s their hobby. It’s what they like to do. Just as some of us may like sports or art or movies, they are interested in fashion. In this way, it’s not just an average person demonstrating what they put on in the morning, it’s someone who cultivated and worked on a “look” and are now putting it out there in hopes of approval. It’s wonderful in its own way, but it doesn’t mean that people who aren’t necessarily “into fashion” can’t do the same. And appreciating a girl in a nice new dress she found at H&M is just as simple as appreciating a girl showing off her new Celine bag with a vintage Chanel dress, in perfectly coiffed hair and bold red lipstick. It’s just not the same thing.

When I get dressed in the morning, I do so with the intention of feeling as beautiful as possible. I almost never wear pants, for example, because I feel much more myself and happy in skirts and dresses. Some people might find it strange, or tell me about all the beautiful outfits I am missing out on — and I do love the looks other women put together in pants, don’t get me wrong–but I don’t care. I like looking the way I feel comfortable. Most of my clothes were inexpensive, but I care for the nice things I have and maintain them well — especially the things I’ve inherited. Some days I might go out looking less-than-perfect, but it’s not the end of the world. There is pressure in cities to look good at all times, but I try my best to fight it and remember that I am beautiful as I am. And there is nothing more sad than having an entire industry — and the people who “live by it” — tell me that I am not good enough, that I just missed the mark. I don’t want my life dictated by what is “in season,” and I don’t need to spend half of my monthly disposable income on a new bag. I just want to wear clothes that flatter me, feel beautiful in my own skin, and enjoy my own style.

Fashionable people do wear some incredible, beautiful things, but they shouldn’t have a monopoly on what it means to look good.

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No-WoMan/Man Diet: Be completely in love with your life independent of another person's validation...

A lot of people I've worked with have the same challenge:

Seeking validation / approval from the man or women they're attracted to-- whether it's a someone you've just met, one you're wanting to date, or been in relationship for years...

If any these fit for you, you should definitely check out the "No-Woman Diet" -- a new program from Bryan at Authentic World.

This program is designed to have you completely in love with your life, independent of another person's attraction, validation or attention, and replace it with a sense of wholeness, purpose and power.

Here's a link to their blog, with lots of cool free videos:

Bryan and his team have worked with hundreds of men and women to have more rewarding fulfilling relationships, and the program they've put together will rock your world.

Check it out!

Talk to you soon.

P.S.  Whether this program speaks to you or not (it could benefit ANYONE), make sure to check out the other videos on the blog because they have some really powerful tips and ideas to help you relax out of that nagging feeling of neediness and insecurity when the person you're into isn't not calling you back or responding to you.

Here's the link again: